The Office
by iamwildatheart
Summary: This was not what Mikan Sakura expected. At all. —Part One


**Disclaimer:** Disclaimed.  
**Description:** Snippets of drabbles, using only dialogue.  
**Author:** Heartfelt Simplicity

* * *

**The Office**

_This was not what Mikan Sakura expected. At all._

* * *

_**Beginning of Part One**_

**-:-**

**Meeting the Boss**

_Ding! Elevator opens._

"G-Good morning, Mr. Hyuga."

_Glance._

"And you are?"

_Sputter at red eyes._

"I-I am Mikan Sakura, sir."

_Smirk._

"And you are my new secretary, I presume?"

"Yes, Mr. Hyuga."

"Very well. I like my employees to address me familiarly. Call me Natsume."

_Look at strangely._

"Yes, Natsume-san."

_Ding! Elevator opens._

"No honor-fixes, Polka-dots."

_Ding! Elevator closes. Mikan looks down to see her shirt unbutton.  
_

". . . I shall_ kill_ him."

**-:-**

**Bitch, _please_  
**

"Hi! I'm Mikan Sakura. You're Sumire Shouda, I presume?"

_Tousle of hair of what seem like a female looks up._

"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

"I'm just saying hi! I'm Mr. Natsume's new secretary."

_Miss Shouda scrutinizes Miss Sakura._

"You're alright. A bit of a snag though."

_Stare._

"Okay, _bitch_. You did not just call me a _snag_."

"I like you Sakura. Call me Sumire."

_Befuddled._

**-:-**

**BFFS**

"Mikan Sakura."

"Hotaru Imai."

"Secretary."

"Fact checker and photographer."

"..."

"..."

"I like you."

"So do I."

"..."

"..."**  
**

"Soo . . you wanna grab some Starbucks?"

"You paying?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Let's go, best friend."

**-:-**

**Is that what I think it is . . ?  
**

_Cricket. Cricket._

"Is that a pink lizard?"

"I believe so, sir."

"Did you put it on my desk?"

"No sir."

"Will you send in Mikan please, Sumire?"

"Yes, Natsume."

_Sends Mikan in._

"Yes sir?"

"Tell me, Mikan, what is that on my desk?"

". . is that a pink lizard?"

"Yes."

. . . . .

"Um. I didn't do that."

"How will _I_ know that?"

"Because there is a grown man laughing behind your ficus . . ?"

_Looks. Glares._

"Well fancy meeting you here, Natsume!"

. . . . . . . . . . .

"Koko?"

"Yes?"

"You're fired."

"I know."

**-:-**

**'Hot-tea'**

"So you think I'm sexy?"

"Mr. Yome, I shall not consult with you about your looks."

"But you think I'm hot."

"Yome, you're married."

"Call me Koko."

"Koko-san, you have a wife."

"Yes, but I _am_ hot, right?

_Sumire overhears_

"Ah! Koko-san - !"

_Splash._

"- . . urr, watch out for the hot tea."

"Thanks for telling I'm a hottie!"

"THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO CHEAT ON ME!"

**-:-**

**. . . ?  
**

"If you wanna live, you follow me."

_Stares._

"I'm sorry, Ms. . . ?"

"Umenomiya, but call me Anna"

"Ms. Anna. Alright, I don't understand."

"Good, I like you. Straight to the point."

". . Thank you?"

"No thanks. I don't do thanks. Take it like a women and accept what is thrown at you."

". . okay?"

"Alright, if you wanna live, you need to follow me."

"And why do I have to?"

_Mochu comes screaming/running in. Burning with a fire caught on his shirt._

"That's why."

"Ah. Is this normal?"

_Sigh._

"Let me get the fire extinguisher. Again."

**-:-**

**Sir.**

"I told you to call me 'Natsume'!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just -"

_Pause._

"- I'm just not familiar to this name calling situation."

"I see. Well, you're fired."

"WHAT? Excuse me - !"

"You're re-hired. I like you."

". . may I leave now, sir?"

"It's Natsume, and nope. In fact, I'm asking you help me with a slight problem."

"For what, sir?"

"I need a date."

_Sputter._

"A-A w-what now, sir?"

"I said call me Natsume and I'm meeting with the CEO of this . . company. So I need someone to watch over my . . special guest."

". . Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really."

"Why'd you - "

"Pick up at eight."

**-:-**

**Questions**

"Why are you so ugly?"

"I don't know."

"How come you have this annoying smell?

"Youichi, I don't know."

"How come your dress is red and everyone else's is black?"

"Hm."

"Why are you ignoring me?"

"Because I sense no need to answer your questions."

"What if I was dying? What then?"

"Then you wouldn't be asking questions then, right?"

"Hmm. Good point, so why is your hair so curly?"

". . . "

"Why are you ignoring me again?"

". . . "

"Why are you soo mean?"

". . . "

"Hag!"

"Who taught you such language!"

"That would be me."

"Natsume! You shouldn't be teaching your little brother such language!"

"Ah, you got the name down. I was starting to think you may have a hearing deficiency."

"I do not - "

"Nattie? Why is the hag so ugly?"

"UGH."

"And she sounds like an ogre too!"

**-:-**

**Monologue**

"So hot date last night with your Boss?"

"No. If you count it as a date when he makes you run errands, look after his kid-brother who insulted you many, many times, entertain his parents who wants you to elope with him, and accidentally punch the living daylights out of the CEO? Then yes, it was it date. A lovely one."

". . . "

"You're thinking how you should have never asked, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Eh, that's what the other fourty-six co-workers thought too."

"You rehersed it?"

"Nah, you get the hang of the monologue after number twenty-two."

-:-

**Cup of Sunshine**

"Tough morning?"

"You have no idea"

"It's okay Mikan, you'll feel better soon enough."

"You're wrong. I have a hangover."

" . . Because?"

"Because I decided I needed to get drunk."

"On a Sunday when you have work on Monday?"

"Well - "

_In reflex, Tsubasa Andou hands over his half cup of coffee which Mikan barfs in._

"Thanks. That felt better. Now I think I'm gonna go barf some more and cry my miserably life out in the laboratory."

"It's 'lavatory.'"

"Whatever."

_Looks down at cup of yellow vomit._

"Well, aren't you a cup of monday morning sunshine."

**-:-**

**Starbucks Happy Hour**

"Oh, Hyuga, what are you doing here?"

"I'm getting coffee?"

"Ah. Right."

_Silence_

"Would you like to join me?"

"Sure, I would love to."

_Walks to booth._

"So, do you have a sweet tooth?"

"I do, but I don't intend on telling the world such a thing."

"Ah, you see? I love them! . . "

_And with that, everyday since, they would meet for lunch._

**-:-**

**You're like fired for the bijillionth time! (Part 1)  
**

"YOME!"

_Koko comes rushing in, stain on his tie, and all._

"Yes, Natsume!"

"You're fired!"

"WHAT?"

"Go on. Leave."

"Why, dude? Why now?"

"Because you got my secretary pregnant."

**-:-**

**You're like fired for the bijillionth time! (Part 2)****  
**

"DUDE! You can't do this to me!"

"I can and I will. You're fired, go on out of here."

"She's my _wife_! _She_ wanted to have a child! What am I suppose to do?"

"Sumire is already . . temperamental. I cannot handle a hormone swinging Sumire with a _baby_ on board!"

_Looks at Natsume incredulously._

"Dude! I live with her. I _need_ this job man! I _need_ a place to sleep. NEED!"

"And you can't sleep with your wife, why?"

. . . . . .

"Right, you can have your job back. I pity you senselessly."

**-:-**

**Glowing**

"Sumire, you're _glowing_."

"I know!"

"No, Sumire, _seriously_, you're _glowing_!"

"I know! It's bec - _holy shit_!"

_Sumire runs to the nearest mirror and gasps  
_

"I told you not to buy that cheap spray tan cream."

"Shut up, Imai!"

"Well, I'm just stating a fact. Who's glowing like a glow stick in the dark, hm?"

"...I'm soooo suing."

**-:-**

**Meet the Parents**

"Mikan, I need you to do me a favor."

"What? What do you possible need from me because - "

"I need you to have dinner with my parents."

"Why would I do such - "

"Because they won't shut up about you!"

. . .

"Am I that irresistible?"

"You want to know something?"

"What?"

"Shut up. I'll pick you up at six thirty."

**-:-**

**Cosmetics**

"So let me get this straight. You're her best friend?"

"Yup! Now arch your brow."

"And you tolerate her?"

"Hm-hm! Pout for me."

"You're talking about Anna Umenomiya?"

"Yes-sireeeee! Widen your eyes, sweetie."

"And your name is Nonoko Ogasawara, right?"

"Yes ma'am! Now smile them shiny teeth for me!"

"Huh, I neber knuu dat Air-na add a def ann."

"Sorry, sweetie. Enunciate please?"

"I never knew that Anna had a best friend."

"Oh she does! I am. It's just that with me working in the cosmetics testing department and she in the resturant and our shifts being out of wack all the time, we never see each other. Heck! I last saw her around Christmas! Oh how I miss that ball of clever!"

"Nonoko. Christmas is approaching."

"Hmm, really? I haven't noticed."

"Aww! I'll set you guys up for an outting together! I promise!"

"Awww, thanks, honey! I'd appreciate that. Now look in the mirror and tell me what do you think!"

_Mikan turns and _looks.

"Wow.."

"I know! You're such a doll!"

"I'm so . . "

"So beautiful!"

"Yeah..."

_Few minutes after look and talking to Nonoko some more._

"Nonoko. What department do you work for again?"

"Cosmetics testing. Why?"

". . . . Take it off."

_Smirks._

"Oh, _Mikan_. I'm sorry, I don't go that way. But I'll kindly suggest you to another - "

"TAKE THE MAKEUP OFF, NONOKO!"

"C'mon! Can you keep it on for another 8 hours? I would appreciate it!"

". . ."

"Pwease!"

". . ."

_Puppydog eyes._

". . ."

_Tears appearing slowly.._

"I shall _keeeell_ you."

**-:-**

**Ah.**

"Who are you? And what have you done to Mikan Sakura."

"Shut up. I was in the Cosmetic's department. And _shut_ the door! It's cold!"

_Ignoring her._

"Why were you there?"

"I went there to get something that Sumire asked me to get for her."

"That still doesn't explain why you have this - "

"And then I ran into Nonoko, and I want to kill her."

. . . .

"Ah. Just make sure you wash it before 8 hours it has been applied because if it's a test run, you're skrew'd.

_Mikan bolted for the bathroom.  
_

**-:-**

**Dinner**

"Well, that was swell."

"If it was swell, then why do I have to dig for lettuce in my bra. _Still_!"**  
**

_Smirk_.

"If you don't want to take it out, then allow me."

"PERVERT."

"Hey, I thought we agreed that after tonight, _I_ was not longer a pervert compared to - "

"LALALALA, HAPPY THOUGHTS."

"..."

"..., your six-year-old brother has _sick_ thoughts."

**-:-  
**

** Explains sooooo much**

"So you work for the fire department?"

"Yes, but I'm not a fire-fighter."

"Then you _don't_ work for the fire department."

"I do! But I kind of _set_ things on fire. Not put them out."

. . . .

"Mochu?"

"Yes?"

"That explains why Anna hates you soooo much."

**-:-**

**JUMP ON IT!**

"..."

"ISN'T THIS _FUN_?"

"No, it is not."

"AH, BUT IT IS! LOOK AT THE PARTY! YOU'RE SUCHA POOPER!"

"I am not. You are _too much_ of a party, Anna."

"YOU CAN'T PARTY TOO MUCH! NONSENSE!"

_Mikan sees Natsume. 'Help-Me' face inserted. Natsume smirks and watches._

"COME PARTY WITH US!"

"No."

"COME ONNNNNNNNNN."

"No."

"LOOKIE, KOKO'S DOING THE - !"

_Mikan is blinded._

"Excuse me as I escape the confines of torture."

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT. DRINK UP AND - "

_Mikan can no longer hear Anna as she makes a beeline for her deranged semi-friend/boss._

"Oh, I _hate_ you."

"I know but you hate Yome, _so much more_."

". . . ."

"134 for Mr. Cool and 127 for Ms. Fluff-fluffs."

"_Must _you remind me about the score?"

"Yes."

**-:-  
**

**"You make me - " wanna punch you in the face, Natsume. (Uncle Kracker)  
**

"Euuuuuughh."

"Your fault."

"Shutup."

"I said not to party too much. But _who_ wouldn't - "

"I'm having a flippin' hangover. Don't irk me."

". . . ."

"128 for Ms. Fluff-fluff and 134 for Mr. Cool."

". . . ."

"_Suuuuuckaa_."

**-:-**

**Fraternity**

"I am confuddled."

"Confuddled?"

"A mix between confused and befuddled."

"You are strange."

"Who are you to judge. You're the one that called me over here because you didn't know how to deal with your first hangover."

"I can't believe your holding that against me."

"Well what type of grown man never played a drinking game?"

"I've seen them, I just chose not to join in."

"You were in a frat. How can you _not_ drink 'til you puke."

"Easy, library."

"Nerd."

. . . .

"Euuuuuugh."

**-:-**

**GDO - Girl's Day Out (Christmas Remix)  
**

"Christmas shoppin'!"

"You're pregnant and you're still able to shop this fast?"

"Shutup, Imai. Hey, Mikan, where are the tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee?"

"They would be - "

"WE'RE HERE, OMG OMG."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SEEING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR!"

"I KNOW RIGHT? ASDFGHJKL."

"- right here, apparently."

"I have no words for these two. No words at all."

"I'm right there with ya sister. Right there."

**-:-**

**Just shut up**

"What is this?"

"It's present. Stupid."

"Yes, I know what it is. By _what_ is it?"

"Well, open it."

"No."

"Polkadots. Open the box."

"I said no."

"Why."

"You just asked a question and made it sound like a statement."

"Polkadots - "

"Okay fine! I'll open the damn box!"

_Opens box._

"'Look up - Natsume this makes no - "

"Shut up for once."

_Kisses under the mistletoe_

"Did you know, the European mistletoe is actually a hemi-parasitic plant that caused gastrointestinal problems, including diah - "

"Just shut up. The one time, I attempt to be romantic, you tell me that mistletoes are - "

Mikan laughs and says –

"Just shut up and kiss me, you freak."

**-:-**

**_End of Part One_**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

EAAK! How'd you like it? I've been contemplating about this piece for like months now. I was wondering if I should drop it or not. But in the end, I decided that I put too much thought into this to just drop it. I mean, this thing has more words than my other mini shots! Sooooooo, please tell me if you liked it. This is only Part One, by the way. And I'm actually wondering if I should finish it or just leave it here. I mean, this could work as a ending, or should I add Part Two and the Epilogue I planned out?

Soo review/PM me so I'll know if I should drop or keep this!

-HS**  
**


End file.
